"Brothers"

So I must admit I was pretty psyched to see Brothers. Released in 2009, Brothers is the story of two, you guessed it, brothers, portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Spiderman McGuire. I generally like both of the leads, and a supporting cast that includes the delightful Natalie Portman, the ever-solid Sam Shephard, Mare Winningham and the underrated Ethan Suplee is pretty stellar on paper. Sadly, none of them are enough to save a bore of a script.

For those that don't know, McGuire plays Cpt. Sam Cahill, the high-school-jock-turned-Marine serving in Afghanistan. Gyllenhaal plays Tommy, the stereotypically underachieving brother, fresh out of jail (*yawn*) and trying to make good. While in Afghanistan, Sam is allegedly killed when his helicopter crashes. Tommy swoops in to play the role of surrogate father to Sam's two kids and man-o'-the-house to Sam's wife, Grace (portrayed in full 'going through the motions' mode by Portman) as a means of trying to display that his life is really getting back on track.

Just in reading those few sentences, you can probably see pretty clearly what is going to happen, no? First, Tommy and Grace grow close and share a smooch. Second, you guessed it....Sam isn't dead!! And even more shocking...he's coming home!! I know what you're thinking..."I bet he comes home a changed man because war is hard." Right? Bingo!! Sam isn't the same as he was when he left...is he still the man Grace loved? Is he still the great daddy he was when he left? Does he think he'll be able to return to "normal" life as a civilian? Isn't he going to want to go back to Afghanistan, because war is all he knows?

Honestly...who cares?? The script, I'm pretty sure, was salvaged from the cutting room floor of a Junior High School drama class...and the acting performances weren't much better. Shephard was fine as the ex-Marine father. Portman was a robot, Maguire was essentially just skinny (see...war is hard!), and Gyllenhaal showed all the emotion of a bag of potatoes. The best performance was probably Bailee Madison (Bridge To Terabithia) as the older daughter...but that was nowhere near enough to save the movie. I found myself actively not caring about any of the characters...not caring who was good or who was bad or who had to make tough decisions or who had changed and who hadn't or who loved whom. Total and complete disappointment. Do yourself a favor...take the hour and forty-one minutes and read a book...or wash the car...or stare at the wall. Any of the above are more compelling.

2/5 stars...barely.